The law for some time has been that there is a 90 day waiting period from the date of filing a divorce to the date the divorce can be granted.  An exception to the rule has been that, if you take the Divorce Education Class for Divorcing Parents and the Divorce Orientation Course for Divorcing Parents, the 90 day waiting period would be waived and your divorce could go through before 90 days had elapsed from the day you filed divorce.  This exception was put in place when the courses were first introduced as optional for divorcing parents to encourage them to take the classes.

Since the classes were first introduced as optional though highly recommended, they have now become mandatory in all divorce classes where minor children  are involved.  This has resulted in an odd twist in the law, that divorcing parties without children had to wait 90 days, and parents with children who took the classes could be divorced sooner.  Sometimes parties without children took the classes just to expedite their divorces!

Now, generally, all divorcing parties have to wait 90 days from the date of filing to get their divorces signed.  Of course, there are exceptions and the 90 day waiting period can be waived, but the courts have indicated they are tightening up and scrutinizing those requests more carefully.

EXCEPTION: Utah Code Section 30-3-18(1)  “Unless the court finds that extraordinary circumstances exist and otherwise orders, no hearing for decree of divorce may be held by the court until 90 days has elapsed from the filing of the complaint, but the court may make interim orders as it considers just and equitable.”

Bottom line: In Utah you have to wait 90 days from the date you file for divorce for your divorce to be final unless you have extraordinary circumstances.

• The parties are not yet ready to mediate and the mediation is held prematurely.  (One way to overcome this failure is to set up a second session after the court hearing for temporary orders is held).
• An attorney sets unrealistic expectations for their client.
• The attorney wants more money in the litigation process.
• The emotion of a party is not validated.
• The attorney lacks experience in the field in which they are mediating.  (This often happens in domestic law cases when a party’s lawyer ”friend”  is going to help the party out in their family law matter by representing them,even though the lawyer does not customarily practice family law.)
• The wrong mediator is chosen (different styles of mediator).
• The party is not properly prepared with information needed to have a settlement.
• The party opens negotiations with their bottom line and is not willing to move.
• The party is not willing to come to a settlement and is using the process just to meet the requirement to mediate.
• The walkaway option is better than the option being proposed in mediation.

Please comment, add, refute, clarify or inquire regarding this posting if you are so inclined.  I would love for this to convert to a helpful dialogue and resource.

On my individual legal blog I once discussed the concept that a party must “get real.”  Today one difficulty is that we didn’t have enough of the facts, let alone all of the facts, that the parties could agree on or that the parties could rely on in order to arrive at the same place for an agreement.   It is hard for parties to “get real” if they don’t know what the real facts of the case are

Personalities can be a difficulty at mediation.  In fact, some parties or attorneys may simply not be wired in an appropriate way to be successful in resolving cases in mediation.

Please comment, add, refute, clarify or inquire regarding this posting if you are so inclined.  I would love for this to convert to a helpful dialogue and resource.

If you must pay with cash (not advisable), get a receipt signed by the receiving parent stating how much they are paid and that it is for child support.

If you provide payment in kind (groceries, gas, utilities, diapers, etc.) [not advised], get a receipt from the receiving parent stating the value and that the “payment in kind” is in lieu of payment in cash of a certain amount of money – the amount spent on the “stuff.”

If you pay with a check (recommended), make sure and put on the memo line that it is for child support, and, even better, for what time period (e.g. May 2012).

If you have questions about child support, reply to this post.

Please comment, add, refute, clarify or inquire regarding this posting if you are so inclined.  I would love for this to convert to a helpful dialogue and resource.

Research also shows that, due to the voluntary nature of mediation, when compromise is reached between opposing parties after negotiating in good faith, having fully disclosed all relevant information and are the parties are empowered because they are fully informed, the agreement made is more durable that a court imposed resolution.  This means that parties are less apt to try and go back on their agreement to change it when resolution is reached in a good mediation.

Please comment, add, refute, clarify or inquire regarding this posting if you are so inclined.  I would love for this to convert to a helpful dialogue and resource.

The person that is made a crazy by these “crazy making behaviors” is the other party because the other party doesn’t know how to handle the other party’s crazy behavior: ignore it, respond to it?  So how do you avoid being made crazy by an opposing parties irrational behavior?

The most common question my “sane” clients ask themselves that causes them to spiral into insanity is, “Why?”   My clients ask themselves the following kinds of questions: 

• “Why is he/she doing that?” 
• “What is he/she thinking?” 
• “Why doesn’t he/she do . . . [some logical act] ?” 

If you find yourself asking these questions over and over again during your family law case, either stop asking or go to your own mental health treatment provider and ask them the questions so that your counselor can help you decide whether there is an answer to your questions or if you just need to drop it, assess the facts and proceed with your case regardless of the opposing parties irrational and illogical actions.

After a certain point, asking yourself why somebody does something or trying to figure out what they are thinking when they are engaging in crazy behavior will only drive you crazy.  The trick is to identify when it is still safe and healthy for you to be asking, answering and acting upon your answers to these questions (to defend or prosecute your case) or when there really are no answers to your “Why?” questions and move on with your own plan decisively.

In short, don’t get sucked into overanalyzing the opposing parties crazy making behavior and letting their behavior negatively impact and influence you.

Please comment, add, refute, clarify or inquire regarding this posting if you are so inclined.  I would love for this blog to become a helpful dialogue and resource.

In Utah, a birth mother can voluntarily give up her parental rights after 24 hours after birth or 24 hours after the birth mother is no longer under the influence of any medication that would inhibit her ability to understand and voluntarily relinquish her parental rights.

The biological father would have the same time frames, etc., except an unmarried biological father need not consent to relinquishment if he has not preserved his parental rights by filing the appropriate declaration of paternity with the Utah Department of Vital Statistics or initiated and served the mother with a paternity action.

I hope this information is helpful.  Please comment, add, refute, clarify or inquire regarding this posting if you are so inclined.  I would love for this to convert to a helpful dialogue and resource.

Why would an unmarried father want to preserve his by filing a paternity petition with a court?  I suggest a few LEGAL reasons here, and look forward to reply comments from readers on other reasons.

1.  A biological father wants to be the father to the child he has helped create.  This father must usually be willing to support the mother by being responsible for “a fair and resonable amount of the expenses incurred in connection with the mother’s pregnancy and the child’s birth,” as well as willing to be responsible for ongoing child support.  For specific requirements and obligations, you need to check your state’s specific parentage or paternity statute.

2.  A biological father wants to exercise parent-time/visitation with his biological child, but the mother will not voluntarily allow the biological father contact with the child.  Sometimes an unmarried mother will declare the biological father to the state child support enforcement/collection agency in order to begin receiving financial support from the state.  The state will then seek out the purported father to establish paternity and seek appropriate reimbursement from the biological father for the financial assistance the mother is receiving from the state.  However, just because paternity is established by the state for child support purposes doesn’t mean that the father’s rights to contact with the child have been established and are enforceable, and the state child support enforcement agency doesn’t care about the father’s contact with the child, their job is just to collect support.  The biological father needs a court order setting forth his rights to contact with the child so that those contact rights can be enforced and exercised.

3.  A biological father doesn’t want to be ambushed by the mother or the state at a bad time to start owing support or have a huge support obligation appear from the past.  Sometimes a biological father will do nothing to assert his rights, either because he is unaware that a child was actually conceived with the mother or the mother and biological father separated and lost contact with each other.  Either way, a biological father may not want this past to come haunting him when he least expects it, causing difficulties in his current financial and personal situation.

The above are just some of the reasons that an unwed father may not want to “sit on his rights” and “stand to lose them.”

Please comment, add, refute, clarify or inquire regarding this posting if you are so inclined.  I would love for this to convert to a helpful dialogue and resource.

A parent will be hauled into court for failure to pay child support.  The parent will say that they have lost their job, or their income has been reduced for some reason or another, and they just can’t pay child support.  The commissioner’s response, ” I don’t understand zero.”

This statement doesn’t come when a parent has been making some kind of payments, even if it is not the full amount that is owed.  At least the parent seems to be trying.  But what the commissioner cannot understand is how a parent can eat themselves and not provide for their child or children to eat – “I don’t understand zero.”

Lesson learned: if you are struggling to pay your child support obligation for any reason, and you don’t want to go to jail for contempt, pay whatever you can.  Keep a close accounting of your income and outflow of money so that you can show what you are spending your money on that is not fully paying your child support.  But, do NOT fail to pay some child support, as you will get no sympathy or understanding from the judge/commissioner if you don’t pay any child support at all.

Please comment, add, refute, clarify or inquire regarding this posting if you are so inclined.  I would love for this blog to become a helpful dialogue and resource.

UVU’S LEGAL STUDIES PROGRAM TO SPONSOR FREE LEGAL CLINIC

Through a joint effort between Utah Valley University’s Legal Studies Program and the local legal community, those in need of legal services will be able to receive free legal advice at a clinic scheduled for Oct. 25 in the UVU Library.

“This is an important service for the low income or middle income in the community who cannot afford an attorney,” said Jill Jasperson, associate director of UVU’s Center for the Study of Ethics. “It is designed to help them with their legal issues and problems.”

The legal consultation clinic, set from 6-8:30 p.m. in the Timpanogos Room on the fourth floor of the UVU Library, is in conjunction with National Pro Bono Week. Attorneys with varying expertise – including family law, employment law, civil rights, commercial law, contracts law, disability law, landlord-tenant law, criminal law, personal injury law, bankruptcy, commercial law, immigration law and estate planning – will be available to provide legal advice and guidance on most every legal issue.

“All UVU faculty, staff and students are invited, along with anyone in the Utah County area who might have a legal issue and a need for legal guidance,” Jasperson said. “All of the legal services will be donated from the local legal community.”

Participants need to bring all documentation necessary to explain and assist in their cases. The brief consultations, with an attorney and paralegal student present, will take place in a private room. A notary public will also be available. Services are rendered on a first-come, first-serve basis. Depending on demand, there might be a short waiting period. Parking is available in the lot L-7, north of the Library.

“At the past two clinics, we’re estimating that more than $30,000 worth of legal services were rendered by the local legal community,” Jasperson said.

The clinic is also sponsored by the Woodbury School of Business, the UVU Center for the Study of Ethics, Utah Community Credit Union and the Central Utah Bar Association.
For more information contact the UVU Legal Studies Office at 801-863-8134, or Mike Rigert, UVU communications manager at 801-863-6807.

About UVU
Utah Valley University is located in Orem, Utah, and is home to nearly 33,000 students. UVU began as a vocational school during World War II, and in the seven decades since has evolved into a technical school, community college, state college and, finally, a comprehensive regional teaching university. UVU is one of Utah’s largest institutions of higher learning and offers programs ranging from career training to high-demand master degrees, with emphasis on undergraduate education.