Under Utah law, a child and the adoptive parent must live in the same home for six months. See Section 78B-6-136.5(1), Utah Code Annotated. However, a stepparent must be married to the natural or legal parent and have lived in the same home as the child for one year before the stepparent can adopt the child. “If the adoptive parent is the spouse of the birth parent, a final decree of adoption may not be entered until the child has lived in the home of that adoptive parent for one year, unless, based on a finding of good cause, the court orders that the final decree of adoption may be entered at an earlier time.” Section 78B-6-136.5(2), Utah Code Annotated.

Under Utah law, a birth/natural parent and that parent’s paramour (boyfriend or girlfriend) will have to be married and the stepparent will have had to have lived in the same home as the child for one year for the decree of adoption to be entered by the court. So, Charity, in your case, if your boyfriend is not living with you and your children, a judge cannot let him adopt you children because they have not been living in the same home. If your boyfriend is living with you and your children, the judge cannot let your boyfriend adopt your children because, as stated in the law cited above, you are living together in a relationship that is not “a legally valid and binding marriage under the laws of this state [Utah].”

Sometimes I have been able to get around the one year rule when the birth parent and child have been living with the stepparent for more than one year but they have not been married for one year. Another option is for you and your boyfriend to file for a declaration of a common law marriage and have it declared a marriage since a certain date. You would likely need the assistance of a lawyer to help you with this option.

These are just some thoughts on the bare facts presented and do not constitute legal advice or create an attorney-client relationship.

In Utah, all other things being equal (meaning that the Decree of Divorce generally follows the statutory provisions regarding child custody and parent-time as found in Sections 30-3-10 through 30-3-10.9 and 30-3-32 through 30-3-40, U.C.A.), pursuant to Section 30-3-37, U.C.A. you can request a hearing, even an expedited hearing (see subsection (12)) before the court to review the parent-time order.

A more aggressive option is to file a petition to modify your decree of divorce. The court will look at the factors found in the statutes cited above, as well as the factors found in Rule 4-903, Uniform custody evaluations, Rules of Judicial Administration, especially subsection (5).

A noncustodial parent must marshal significant facts to overcome the status quo of the existing ordered custody arrangement. Oft times the noncustodial parent will have to engage an expert witness in the form of a custody evaluator, which is considered quite costly to most parents. If the facts and circumstances are right and the noncustodial parent can gather enough evidence/facts (witnesses, documents, other experts), a custody evaluation is not always necessary. However, if a parent decides to proceed without a custody evaluation because of expense, that saved expense is often then expended on the lawyer having to prepare all the evidence for presentation to the court at trial that the custody evaluator would otherwise have considered and included in the custody evaluation report. Another benefit to a custody evaluation is that it often leads to the parties to settlement without having to go to trial. This is not to say that a custody evaluation is always the best way to go for a parent, but is an option to be carefully considered by a parent with their lawyer before deciding whether or not to take that course of action.

To summarize, a parent in Utah has two options to protect their visitation rights, request a hearing before the court by motion or petition the court to modify the existing court orders regarding custody and parent-time.